Say it isn’t so

You won’t want to believe these are true, but if Miss Snark says so, they’re true. Gasp in horror, shriek, wince, and snort coffee out your nose at these excerpts from stories submitted to Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction magazine. Then go double-check everything you ever wrote.
My favourites:

Out of the dark void came what looked like a giant rabbit followed by small rabbits which had looked as if they had undergone a mutation with three ears and 2 tails. They discovered they were on Rabbitania.

Jake was not a man to show much emotion, but he found himself supressing the urge to smile out loud.

They were human in every way but they owned the necks, heads, facial expressions were that of a chicken.

Ashala’s head felt like vermicelli slowly slipping off the platter of her sholders.

It’s excruciating. But hilarious. The spelling and all other quirks are original – remember these next time you use the right-click Word thesaurus:

The afternoon was very calm but consolidated. The birds were singing but were not blithesome.

“Stand slow!” a voice rang out with hollow ubiquity.

Indulge in the complete agonising experience here (and if you’re a writer or interested in getting published, Miss Snark’s is the blog du jour).

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